“Let not your heart be troubled,” John 14:1, has had a special place in my heart for many years. Our family became Christians, and joined the Seventh-day Adventist Church in Carmichael, California, in the early 1970s when I was about 12 years old. As an early-teen myself, I watched my parents consider and evaluate how this new belief system might impact the way they lived their daily lives. They were, of course, fully adults in their mid- to late-thirties when they took it all in.
My mom’s teacher, Elaine, who had become a friend, and her family, began visiting our family. We hit it off with a wonderful, developing relationship. The first time they came to our house, my mom announced that they were vegetarian. “What’s a vegetarian?” my dad asked, in all sincerity! “They don’t eat meat!” my mom said. “Then how am I going to make my tacos?” asked my dad. But he had always been very creative in the kitchen, and he came up with a mix of chopped nuts, sauteed mushrooms and onions, and whatever spices he decided would give just the right savory taste. They were absolutely delicious, and quickly became a family favorite!
And then there were the questions – about faith! I remember one time in particular, when my dad asked Elaine, “Why do you need God? You’re a strong woman. What’s the deal?” She very caringly explained that it was her faith in God that gave her that strength. He really had to chew on that one a while.
Some time later, our family decided to sell our house in Elk Grove and move to Carmichael so we would be closer to the Adventist academy where my sister and brother and I would start attending. We had built our house and really loved it, but felt that moving was the right thing to do. It was at that time that this verse became pivotal for my dad. “Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in Me. In my father’s house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you…” (John 14:1-2 KJV). He clung to the faith that this verse inspired, and decided to trust that God would take care of us in our transition to a new house. Which God did.
Fast forward to last summer. I was going about my life as usual, just back from my niece’s wedding, and went to have a routine echocardiogram at Loma Linda. Routine because, many years before, in fact while living in that very house that God provided for us in Carmichael and in my first year at the academy, during a routine physical the three of us kids were having because of attending the new school, we discovered that I had a very loud heart murmur. When the nurses and doctors had all given their hmmm’s and ohhhh’s, and called in others to listen also, I was referred to a pediatric cardiologist. It was the last day of October. I was 13 years old and in eighth grade. By January, two and a half months later, after just turning 14, I was admitted into Sutter Memorial Hospital and underwent open heart surgery, where they implanted a teflon patch to cover the gaping hole in the septum at the base of my aorta.
That was a long time ago. I recovered and have gone on with my life, not giving it much thought, other than the annual follow ups and echos. So back to this past summer’s routine echo. The cardiologist who came in to review the echo, told me that my tricuspid valve regurgitation (leakage) had moved to “severe” and it was time to do something about it. “Like what, surgery?” I asked, dumbfounded. “Yes.” “You mean, the open-me-up and crack-me-open kind?” “Yes.” I was completely shocked. I had not anticipated hearing that news at all.
Many tests and procedures later, during the next two months, and I was back in the office of my now-new surgeon at Loma Linda. I was to have a tricuspid valve replacement, and he would repair the perforation in the back of my aorta that had happened during the first surgery, unknowingly, by my original surgeon. We set the date: November 7, 2023.
It took me some time to wrap my head around facing open heart surgery – for the second time. It was during that time that this verse, “Let not your heart be troubled,” came back to comfort me in a new way. It had given a child-like comfort to my dad, and actually to our whole family, many years before. And now I needed it to do the same for me. So simple. So easy to recite. Speaking directly to the issue with my heart. I clung to it and the faith it engendered in me as I faced this next step.
I found myself checking in at 5 am the morning of November 7, surrounded by my family, ready to get it done. I remember climbing from the gurney over to the operating table under many bright lights. One young nurse looked a lot like my nurse-anesthetist niece, and I decided to believe that she was there with me. The next thing I knew… I was coming-to. I knew immediately that they were taking the breathing tube out of my throat. After all, I had, in a very real sense, been there, done that, once before, and I knew what to expect. What had made me confused and scared years before, now brought me comfort, because – I was on the Other Side! Suddenly a waterfall of gratitude flooded me! I had made it! It was done, and behind me, and I was still here! Not that I ever doubted I would make it through, but, you know, I was just immensely grateful to be on the other side! That deep gratitude has become a part of every day since. Gratitude for making it through. Gratitude for amazing medical professionals who cared for me. Gratitude for my surgeon who told me how excited he was to do my surgery! Gratitude for the cardiologist who read my echo last June. Gratitude for my amazing recovery. Gratitude for this community that has surrounded me with love and care in so many ways. Gratitude for God’s daily presence in my life.
Let us take this verse and apply it in child-like faith to our daily lives, even when things might look or feel troubling. “Let not your heart be troubled.”
Heather Miller is a long-time member of the La Sierra community; grandma to all the beautiful children who need a hug or a lap to sit on; daughter of God and joyful participant in sharing God’s grace.