40 Days 2024

Day 18 – God Only Knows

Nobody sees or knows what you are really going through. Only God really knows what’s happening in your life.
My boys and I have been suffering emotionally and physically, not knowing what is going to happen next in our lives. Truth be told, we are terrified to be separated. Being the mom, I have been trying to keep my head above the noise, telling my boys that God has us.
It is a scary thing for any parent to have lived with a significant other and then to have your whole world turned upside down. You had thought your life was a certain way but then the image of what you thought life was, is shattered.
This last week has been the hardest, and my boys and I almost felt defeated, but then a pastor reached out asking if my boys could read a memory verse. My boys and I were a complete mess and were in the mindset of shutting down and saying no to the pastor. It would have been easy for us to say no, but we all decided that we should, because even though things are looking bleak, we wanted to do it for God. So, we agreed.
We got the memory verse, and it spoke volumes to us. The memory verse is everything we have been feeling and going through. “We are hard pressed on every side but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed” (2 Corinthians 4:8-9).
The pastor that sent us this had no clue that the boys and I are going through a nasty divorce. But God knew that the three of us needed to hear this as a reminder to keep our hopes up. The boys and I have been confused by how the man we trusted for so many years could walk away from his family for another woman and disappear on us. On top of his disappearing, I reached out to my soon-to-be ex’s side of the family for help, but instead I was met with hostility and rage when we had not done anything wrong. But God has not abandoned us in this time of fear and high anxiety.
When we got this memory verse the boys and I cried because we have felt alone, and this gave us the strength to feel stronger and to feel that God will not let us be destroyed. Right now, the boys and I have so many strong emotions, from being sad to angry, but God knew we needed to hear this memory verse to remember that God is still with us.
This goes to show that God shows up in your life in a strong way to help ease the pain of everything you are going through. I cannot stress enough that God does work through people and if you are looking for God, God will come through in a way that you would never expect.
God only knows what is really happening in your life. Trust me when I say, God knows.
When you feel like giving up, God will swoop in and give you the courage to continue on, even through something as simple as a memory verse.

Ashley Beaubien is a small business owner and the mother of two boys who are trying to conquer the world.