Dear Jesus,
I am anxious.
There is an old word used to describe patience: “long-suffering.” When I think of the season we’re in, anticipating your coming, part of me is excited, but another part of me is anxious. This other part feels like there is suffering we must endure as we wait for you.
In light of that, I also think about the typical anxieties people face every day. For the average worker, there are responsibilities to fulfill, tasks to accomplish, people to manage, and conflicts to resolve. For students, there’s the worry of registration, finances, the immense amount of information to retain, and the pressure of finding a career. For parents like me, there’s the constant concern for our children, spouses, and relationships. We’re often failing and hoping for grace.
On top of these everyday worries, we endure the added weight of waiting for you, of living through the long-suffering of your delayed, promised return. It’s not an easy task. It’s hard to bear. Yet it’s a responsibility to which we’ve been called.
Sometimes, I wonder if this calling is too much to ask. Still, my faith in you compels me to respond to your call, to place myself in the movement of your will, even as I carry these worries. My faith also tells me that you share in these worries, that you care even more deeply than I do.
While I sometimes question this, I try to cling to this belief as much as I can. And for the grace you give in the midst of my doubt, I thank you. You understand the necessity of doubt; some have even said that you encourage it. Thank you for that.
As we gather with family, friends, loved ones, and conflicts this Christmas, may we remember that our worries are your worries, our anxieties are your anxieties. And as we wait on you, may we trust that you are also waiting on us.
Pono Lopez is the associate chaplain for La Sierra University, a husband and father to three amazing women, and a child of the islands, where Christmas weather is a chilling 70 degrees.