What’s a child’s number one dream? A puppy.
For me, that dream came true on my fifth birthday. I still remember the moment when my grandpa walked in, a huge gift bag in hand, and inside was a tiny, adorable puppy of my very own. I named him Fluffy. For weeks, he was my world.
But dreams don’t always last forever. Just a few short weeks later, I was taken to the hospital. My left lung had partially collapsed. I don’t remember much about that night, except that everything changed. Tests soon confirmed that I was highly allergic to Fluffy. In the wake of my health emergency, I had to give him up. The pain of that loss was unbearable, and at five years old, it was the first time my heart truly felt torn apart.
Of course, as I grew older, I came to understand that loss is an inevitable part of life. Grief comes in waves, sometimes small, sometimes large. I felt that pain again and again as I lost three of my grandparents before I even reached adulthood. The thought of them never seeing me graduate high school, never witnessing the life I would build for myself, and never getting to see me build a family of my own hurt in ways I couldn’t quite put into words.
Yet, through all this grief, through all the heartbreak, I started noticing something small – only appearing for minutes at a time – but powerful, and there when I needed it most. Rainbows.
I still have a video of myself at eleven years old, holding up the camera, my voice full of excitement, as I pointed out a rainbow that stretched across the sky above my grandpa’s house on the very day we lost him. It was as if, even in the sorrow, God was reminding me of something beautiful.
A double rainbow appeared at my grandma’s funeral. And yet another, on the day my other grandpa took his last breath.
Coincidence? Maybe. Or maybe it was God’s way of whispering, “I’m still here.” Maybe it was His gift, a reminder that even in the darkest storms, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
As in Noah’s story, “’And the rainbow shall be in the cloud; and I will look upon it, that I may remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is upon the earth.’ And God said unto Noah, ‘This is the token of the covenant, which I have established between me and all flesh that is upon the earth’” (Genesis 9:16-17).
I don’t have all the answers. Maybe it really was just the rare few rainy days in Southern California aligning with my hardest moments. But I choose to believe it was more than that. I choose to believe it was God’s way of mending my heart, of reminding me that loss is not the end of the story. That even in grief, there is hope. That after every storm, no matter how devastating, God will be there to walk with you.
And sometimes, if you’re paying attention, you’ll find a rainbow waiting for you too.
Lauryn Singh is a college freshman and enjoys building community and spending time with her loved ones.