Losing a parent at the tender age of five is truly a challenging experience, and that’s an understatement. At that young age, I only perceived the absence of my father as losing his presence. However, as the years passed, I gradually realized that the loss was much deeper and more significant than I had initially understood.
My mother, a strong and God-fearing woman, did an exceptional job raising my sister and me. From an early age, she instilled in us the importance of reading our Bibles and praying every day. Her wisdom and boundless love filled our home, and, despite the absence of a father figure, she made us feel secure and complete.
The real struggle began during my teenage years. As I transitioned from boyhood to manhood, I felt the growing need for a father’s guidance. It was then that I truly understood what I had lost in my childhood. It wasn’t just a father’s presence; I had lost a mentor and a guide to help me navigate the complexities of life.
This realization became a pivotal moment in my journey, highlighting the void left by my father’s absence and the invaluable role he could have played in my development. Yet, amidst this realization, the foundation my mother laid in our lives became a beacon of hope and resilience.
During my teenage years, I found myself struggling to find direction and meaning in life. It was during this time that I came across Psalm 68:5, which describes God as a father to the fatherless. This discovery turned my world upside down and marked a pivotal moment in my spiritual journey.
Before this revelation, I viewed God as a distant and imposing figure, a spiritual authority watching from above, ready to judge and condemn. I was afraid of making mistakes, always fearful of God’s critical gaze and potential wrath. My relationship with God was marked by fear and distance.
However, Psalm 68:5 offered me a new perspective, one that allowed me to see God not as a stern overseer, but as a loving and caring Dad. This realization was both liberating and comforting. For the first time, I felt empowered to approach God with a sense of familiarity and trust.
From that day on, I made a conscious change in my prayers, replacing the word “God” with “Dad.” This simple act transformed my spiritual conversations. No longer was I speaking to an abstract entity, but to a loving father who understood and cared for me deeply. I found solace in knowing that I could turn to Him with my fears, hopes, and dreams.
As I continued to nurture this newfound relationship, the fear that had once overshadowed my spirituality faded away. I felt a profound sense of peace and security, knowing that I was under the care of a loving Father. God was not just an almighty Creator; He was my personal Dad, always present and ready to guide me.
What initially seemed like a void in my life, a lack of an earthly father, turned into a beautiful opportunity. It opened the door for a more intimate and meaningful relationship with God, one that brought me comfort and strength in my times of need. Through this relationship, I discovered a sense of belonging and love that I had never experienced before.
In retrospect, this journey has been transformative. The shift from fearing God to embracing Him as my Dad has filled my life with joy, love, and understanding. I now walk with the assurance that I am not alone, and that my heavenly Dad is always by my side, nurturing and guiding me every step of the way.
Nyasha Adorant Masaga is a passionate Master of Divinity student at La Sierra University, with a deep commitment to ministry and social justice.