This weekend, I talked with an old family friend I call Aunt Annie. My brother and I grew up with this family. These were the people that had been in our lives since birth. My parents roomed with this couple in college. They were best man and maid of honor in my parents’ wedding. One of their sons is named for my father. My parents were vacationing with them when mom died. Even though both my parents are gone I keep in touch with them. They are my tether to the past. I remember camp meeting with them, worshipping in the Grand Tetons, summer vacations spent following the Detroit Tigers from game to game around the country and uproarious games of rook.
I spoke with my Aunt Annie on Friday night. She has just lost her daughter, who is my age, to an autoimmune disease. She is devastated. Her husband, my Uncle Duane, is still living but in a confused state. He doesn’t remember much and although still sweet, does not fully comprehend why his wife is crying so much these days. She is experiencing grief alone, even though her husband is physically present.
As we talked she kept saying that she wasn’t looking forward to Christmas this year. Of course I understood that she would be missing her only daughter. When I asked her about their plans for the holidays she said the only thing she wanted now was to be at peace and reunited with all those that have gone before.
I am reminded that Advent is the season of longing and waiting in expectation. Sometimes that longing is for what is under the tree. As we get older, the longing is for the peace that comes from the promise of being reunited with loved ones. During this season I long to be together with my family and loved ones. As I get older my family dwindles. My parents have both gone before and my extended family is gone. My brother and I wait in expectation of being reunited with our family.
The Advent season reminds me that we have been given the gift of peace and rest through the birth and sacrifice of Jesus. The peace promised by the invitation in Hebrews to enter the Sabbath-rest is what makes our temporal goodbyes bearable.
I am grateful to rest in the promise that we will be reunited, but that hope does not always stem the tide of emotion that comes with loss. My Aunt suffers every time she wants to share something with her daughter and automatically picks up her cell phone to call before remembering the new paradigm she inhabits.
So, while we wait we can be especially mindful of each other. In 1 Thessalonians 4 Paul tells us to encourage each other by reminding one another that the Lord himself will come down from heaven with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and we will all be caught up together to meet the Lord in the air.
We can be agents of peace to each other while we await the second advent. I will continue to call and write and send silly pictures. We will reminisce about those we love, and we will celebrate the peace that comes with the gift of the baby and His sacrifice to reunite families.