Why Tamar? Why do we find her name in Matthew’s genealogy of Jesus? She lived in a society where a woman’s standing and safety in the family and the community was dependent on her ability to produce children. Her world was controlled by men. Tamar was a “heathen” Canaanite woman. She was plucked out of familiar surroundings and taken to live in the home of aliens in her land. Their God was not one of her gods. Let us imagine a prayer she might have prayed.
Tamar’s Prayer
Where were you…
when I was forced to leave my gods, my home?
when Judah, an Israelite, ordered his son Er to marry me?
They told me you killed him because he was evil.
Is that true?
Where were you…
when I was given to Onan?
when he refused to give me a child?
They told me you killed him because he was evil.
What kind of vengeful god are you?
Where were you…
when I was sent back in shame to my father
to live the life of a chaste widow
until Shelah, Judah’s youngest son, became of age?
Where were you…
when years past and Judah did not keep his promise?
when I was being relegated to the hopeless and shameful life of a childless widow?
My only hope for security and justice was to procure it for myself.
Where were you…
when I shed my widow’s garments and covered myself with a veil
and went to the gate of Enaim, where women for hire were found?
when I sat in this strange place waiting for Judah to return from shearing sheep?
when Judah came to me thinking I was a prostitute?
when he agreed to pay me with a young goat if I would sleep with him?
when I demanded his seal and staff as a pledge that he would do as he promised?
Where were you…
when Judah was told I was a whore and I was pregnant as a result of whoredom?
when he declared I must be burned?
when I was brought out to suffer my fate?
when I sent Judah his seal and staff?
when I said, “It was the owner of these that made me pregnant”?
when he declared, “She is more righteous than I, since I did not give her to my son, Shelah”?
How can it be that I, a Canaanite woman who played the harlot, am more righteous than an Israelite man? Were you there when Judah acknowledged his sin? Are you here now? I look into the faces of my precious boys and see their sweet innocence. I ask you, “Can I be counted as innocent too?” I want to believe. Help my unbelief. Amen
Why Tamar? Why not Tamar? She was a woman of great courage and commitment to the family of Judah. It was her duty to assure that the line of Er would live on and thus the line of Judah. The sins of the men in her life would leave her a childless widow. Her strong sense of justice drove her to break the social norms of the time. She secured the line of Judah and her determination softened the heart of her father-in-law.
Have you ever cried out, “God, where are you”? I know I have. Have we ever tried to right a wrong and things got very confused and we ended up with a major problem? Are we courageous in the face of injustice? Will we risk everything to assure justice is done? Do we trust our Heavenly Father to forgive us if we stray in the choices we make? Do we believe God’s grace is sufficient? All we have to do is come, believing God will take our wounded hearts and welcome us into the family.
Barbara Djordjevic is a born Seventh-day Adventist and a recovering Christian, seeking a closer walk with her God.