Advent 2022

Day 19 – Room

“While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them. Luke 2:6-7” (Erickson, 143).
How many times can any one of us tell you about a version of the Christmas play we have seen or participated in at church or school that show Joseph and a heavily pregnant Mary as the only pair traveling, alone, at night, on a single donkey, to Bethlehem?
But since it was the census, I’m guessing Joseph’s older children went with him and Mary on this busy highway (because they couldn’t have been the ONLY ones traveling to Bethlehem for the census). Well-to-do Joseph may have even had servants traveling with them. And I doubt that they would have traveled last minute! They would have wanted to have as safe a journey for Mary as possible. Have you ever been pregnant or known a pregnant lady? Bathroom breaks are mandatory!
Erickson does a BRILLIANT job pointing out to the reader that this is a story of Middle Eastern ancestry where there is a heavy emphasis on family. He writes, “In this ancient society, family stayed with family—especially pregnant ones. We exist in a highly individualized society where it’s normal not to stay overnight in your aunt and uncle’s guest room/office, but hospitality and familial connections were of first priority back then” (Erickson, 145).
He goes on to explain that, not only was this basically one massive family reunion in Bethlehem, but this was a side-eyeing of Mary and her “condition” and an intentional making “no room” for her.
I think we ALL have been there, especially at family functions—the graduations, weddings, funerals, and birthday parties. You get along with your immediate family just fine. Then you start adding cousins, parent groups of various cousins, the unmarried couple living together, the step-Dad/Mom, the gay family member who hasn’t come out yet to the elders but the cousins know. That one member who shows up high/drunk to the party. And that’s just ONE side of the family. Mom’s side doesn’t like Dad’s side, so-and-so insulted this person on the in-law’s side five years ago and it’s still a THING that gets re-hashed EVERY chance it gets, the divorcee who shows up with a new date, the grandkid who is a holy terror, the annoying uncle who talks too loud, the goth cousin who hates sunshine but all the little kids love him/her/they. And then the perfect “we are family” smiles when the elderly matriarch/patriarch walk into the room.
You know when you don’t fit in. Don’t belong. You’re excluded. I admit I have fallen into believing the story of the lone solitary couple on a solo donkey scenario. When Erickson mentioned ancestry and big family reunions—it was like my heart and mind were struck with lightening. Of course! How could it be anything else?
And then this heaviness in my chest, as I was just filled with anguish for Mary and the story that I never honestly considered for her. What must it have been like to walk into that lion’s den? How she must have longed for her own mother and aunts at such a time. How she must have wanted to defend herself, and her husband, to the wolf-like gossipers.
Just because people don’t say the words to your face doesn’t mean you can’t read the room. Mary must have seen the eye communication from the other ladies, the instant quietness when she entered a room, and then to be told “there was no room” for her and her husband?! And you have to wonder—would they have made room for Joseph if he arrived by himself and let her stay home with her mother due to her “condition”?
What a testimony of faith! Your family or extended family REJECTED you, gossiped about you, shunned you. But STRANGERS searched you out, accepted you, EMBRACED you. And there was no way they could have read Mary’s Facebook/TikTok and known in advance. Not only did they seek her out—they BELIEVED her and what she said—this is God’s Son, Jesus.
These are strangers who instantly became Mary’s faith family. They too were visited by the angel(s), heard the message, BELIEVED and accepted. The validation, the physical relief that Mary must have felt that she and Joseph were not alone. The physical proof that God would provide people along this scary and emotional journey to sustain her. The knowing that her walk with God and her purpose on this earth was something much bigger than playing the role of unnamed and undesirable female. That strangers and friends would become her new and stronger family. And that taking the leap of faith with no guarantees would become her new legacy. Her name is not just Mary. Or Slut. Or Wife. Or Stepmother.
Her name is Mary, mother of Jesus who is the Savior of the World.

Arlene Biswas is a nurse who loves Disneyland, naps, and trying not to kill too many plants so she can go save more of them from the orphanage (aka: garden nursery).