What is joy? Is it something that is given or received? Or is it a three-letter word that has lost its true meaning? The holidays are supposed to be filled with joy. I mean just look around everywhere you go, you’ll see it in bright shiny letters or hear it when you turn on the radio. It feels superficial as though joy is something that can be defined by a dictionary or a song.
I have a confession. I haven’t felt joy—true authentic joy, the kind that can’t be written or sung about—for some time.
My father was diagnosed with cancer just a year ago, and while he is currently in remission, it has not all been smooth sailing. I smile to keep appearances and stay strong for my dad, but there are days when joy is the last thing I find. From one doctor visit to another, it is a never-ending cycle of take this medication or that medication and test after test.
Then there is my grandma who has been sick for some time which adds up to more doctor visits. And did I forget to mention my aunt, uncle and my grandpa, all of them dealing with their own health problems, doctor visits and medicine. When will it end?
Should I feel joy because it’s the holidays, or because if I constantly think of joy that things will get better? Can you be okay, if you don’t experience joy? I’ll be honest that is a scary thought and one that cuts deep into my heart—to think about a life without joy. As I continue to type tears begin to flow down my swelled cheeks (swelled because I just had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted). Are they tears of joy? Am I experiencing joy for the first time in months? Is it really that simple, to go from no joy to authentic and living joy?
I choose not to count the tears but to let them flow for each tear is one less day without joy, and as I continue to type I begin to experience joy for the first time in a long time.
How mysterious yet wonderful God is? God doesn’t just give joy, but He has given me the opportunity to experience joy for every word I type, and every tear that flows is one step closer in this journey called Life toward authentic and living joy, a joy that I haven’t been able to sing or write about till now.
It is not a song of “Joy to the World,” but a song of joy that needs no title, for it has been composed exclusively for you and for me by no other than God himself. It’s a song that speaks uniquely to you and your journey with God. It reminds you that joy is not something that can be manufactured or bought but rather is available every day with every breath you take and every step you take. It’s a joy that brings hope, peace and love.
I can sleep tonight knowing that the joy I was lacking yesterday I will have in abundance tomorrow. May you, too, experience authentic and living joy, not just today and tomorrow but every day.
Thank you, God, for it is in you that we find joy.