It was nearing 9 p.m., the end of visiting hours in the coronary ICU. Beverly lay there recovering from a “widowmaker” heart attack the night before. Soon I would have to leave. Our last few moments for the night needed to be comforting, hopeful. They needed meaning and depth.
Beverly’s prognosis wasn’t good. Some possible interventions were ruled out because of her age. Instead, she was put on blood thinners to see if they would open up passages in the heart.
Surrounded by uncertainty in the hospital room, we needed certainty—a favorite Bible verse would help.
One of Beverly’s favorites was in Psalm 34, so I pulled it up on my phone and read almost all of the chapter to her. “I sought the Lord and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears”—verse 4, her favorite. If ever we needed deliverance from fear it was this night.
We also read verse 8, “Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.” Ah, taste. Beverly liked to eat. And cook.
In recent years, especially during the Christmas holidays, her favorite cookie was “Cracker Cookies” (also called Cracker Toffee, Saltine Toffee). Even though she claimed she didn’t like chocolate, this was her go-to cookie, perhaps because it was easier to assemble than other recipes. Crackers are layered on a cookie sheet, melted butter and sugar is poured over them. Then all goes in the oven for a few minutes. Once it’s real hot, out comes the cookie sheet. Next, chocolate chips are sprinkled over the top. After they melt a bit, the chef spreads them out evenly to cover all the crackers. The final garnish is a sprinkling of chopped pecans.
“Taste and see…” Probably David meant this figuratively, like we should ingest God’s presence into our lives. Beverly liked this kind of “tasting” also. This tasting was part of her regular morning, afternoon, and evening routine. In the morning when she got up (late), she sat in bed and read and meditated for perhaps an hour. She liked to make neat lines (with a little ruler) in her Bible for verses that especially struck her as meaningful.
Later she’d get up and have brunch, then do whatever else was on the day’s agenda. But at some point in the afternoon there was more “tasting”—time for the Psalms. For this, she sat at the dining room table with pencil nearby for marking. Occasionally she’d send meaningful verses to family or friends, hoping they would also taste how good her God was.
Lastly, as she sat in bed at the end of the day, Beverly read the appropriate section from the Adult Sabbath School Bible Study Guide. She was faithful to this tradition, not wanting to miss a morsel of something that might inspire or strengthen her faith. Taste, taste, taste, all day long.
Beverly believed that the Lord is good, as the psalmist said. She frequently talked about how blessed she was: no major health problems (just little annoying aches and pains here and there), helpful neighbors, supportive church members, good friends who stayed in touch with her, loving family members, a lovely little home.
Even though she clearly saw the evil in the world (she was a faithful viewer of ABC TV nightly news), she remained positive, believing and trusting that as long as we took refuge in the Lord, we would be blessed, and in the end, all things WOULD work together for good.
But now back to ICU – it was time to go. 9:00 pm. With Psalm 34 in our ears, followed by a prayer for God’s presence through the night, we said good-bye. A last hug, assurances of “See you in the morning.” Then I left.
An hour-and-a-half later, a phone call came from a physician. “Your mother Beverly has passed away. You may come to the hospital now for family time with her body.”
Her earthly tasting was finished. She was now in the hands of the Master Chef and Creator of all good things.
Cracker Cookies
Ingredients:
- Saltine crackers (about 30)
- 1 cup (2 sticks) butter
- 1 cup white sugar
- 6 ounces milk chocolate chips
- 6 ounces semi-sweet chocolate chips
- 1 cup finely chopped pecans
Instructions:
Step 1: Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spread Saltine crackers in a single layer on a cookie sheet lined with aluminum foil.
Step 2: Melt butter with white sugar in a pot. Bring to a boil, stirring, and continue to boil 1-2 minutes.
Step 3: Pour mixture carefully over crackers so as not to dislodge crackers from a single layer. Make sure all crackers are evenly covered.
Step 4: Bake in oven for 12-15 minutes. Remove from oven. Crackers will be bubbly and brown.
Step 5: Mix both types of chocolate chips together and sprinkle them over the hot butter/sugar mix. As chips soften and melt, gently spread chocolate to cover all crackers. Once covered, sprinkle with 1 cup finely chopped pecans.
Step 6: Chill cookie sheet in refrigerator for about 3 hours. Once well chilled, break up the confection into desired size, resembling toffee.
Candace Wilson Jorgensen teaches ESL in Riverside, California. She too enjoys cooking and eating.