Jesus, you heard my childhood Christmas wish, “May I please have a horse?” And, “If not a real horse, then a 16” tall plastic figurine horse?” Knowing that I lived in the suburbs, you must have smiled at my request, and helped my parents buy my second choice. I was delighted.
Jesus, my Christmas wish this year is for you to turn back time. I’d like you to reverse death. If not turning back time, would you please hurry it up? To hurry up my reunion with my son?
Jesus, your delayed “Yes” answers are okay (even though they’re my second choice). After all, you did give me a horse one day (albeit he was emaciated and in need of rescuing). What a surprise to learn he was a retired barrel racer! You must have laughed so hard that day as I hung on when he spotted the barrel at the end of our paddock. What a ride!
Jesus, you were there when my marriage ended. When my horse was sold. When I fought in court for my son’s custody and won. You guided me as a single mom raising a boy.
Jesus, I’m not asking you why Alex died. Truly. I’ve received so much from you. And I’m grateful. You know this.
I know time belongs to you. I know my Christmas wish isn’t practical. But have they ever been? I mean really, isn’t this what having an impossible Christmas wish is about? Asking?
Jesus, as you know, there’s going to be one less stocking on our hearth this year. Less gifts under the tree. My Christmas won’t be merry and bright. Unless your star shines in my sky. Unless you find refuge under my roof. Without you, I don’t have Christmas.
With you Jesus, I release all of my wishes, all of my heart’s desires. I know that one day I’ll ride horses together with Alex, with all of my children. We’ll fly over the new earth’s grass and barrel around trees. Until then Jesus, I’ll keep waiting.
Christie Shine is an avid horseback rider whose Christmas wish is to ride on the new earth with her son. While waiting, she ministers to hospital patients as a chaplain.