Virgin
Let’s get some things out of the way before we begin.
First of all, points to me for taking the day the prompt is the word “virgin.” I promised Pastor Raewyn I would do my best to restrain my inner middle schooler but I won’t lie, it’s been hard.
Next, let’s give a nod to Christianity and The Patriarchy’s preoccupation with the construct of virginity (and its synonym, purity) and all the ways it has been used to oppress and suppress women.
Lastly, around Christmastime, the word “virgin” comes with nostalgia for the simplicity of a girl, and a manger, and some Christmas carols, and some twinkling lights. Less giggling from the peanut gallery at the word “virgin” in this season. The ox and ass take first place here.
Note: Today’s story is the Annunciation, the only time in the gospels where Mary’s state of virginity is mentioned. What follows is a devotional reading, not an exegetical reading.
Gabriel: heyyyy
Unlike Mary, our annunciations come without an angel.
Maybe it’s a sudden event or maybe it’s a slow revelation, but annunciation comes when it dawns on you that your entire life is going to be very different from now on.
Like Mary, we’re just average people expecting that our lives will run an average course.
Then, shazam.
Your life is going to be different now whether you want it or not. Whether you like it or not. And there’s nothing you can do about it.
Mary: *greatly troubled*
Gabriel: Don’t be afraid. This thing is happening.
This thing that is happening is going to disrupt and possibly destroy everything about your life, everything about who you are, and everything you thought your future would hold.
But don’t be afraid. (Gabriel, so blithe. So glib.)
Mary: How can this be since I am a virgin?
Maybe Mary’s protest “but I’m a virgin” wasn’t about the biological logistics. Maybe it wasn’t about the impossibility of conception without sperm and egg and P in V.
Maybe by “virgin” she meant:
I haven’t done this before and I don’t know how.
I don’t know if I can do this and I don’t know if I have what it takes.
I don’t have the experience that lets me know I will make it out to the other side.
This is virgin territory.
Virgin means that you haven’t done it.
Virgin also means that you haven’t done it yet.
Gabriel: God is with you. Look at Elizabeth.
If you’ve had your own Annunciation and you’re being tossed and torn and you’re wondering, “I’m just supposed to go walking around like this for all the world to see?,” remember that Gabriel sent Mary to Elizabeth.
Lift up your head and look at the brilliancy and resiliency of the people around you.
Look at what they have endured, and look at how they continue to show up.
All you have to do is ask, and you’ll find out that that one lost a son, that one lives with disability, that one got their heart broken, that one is dealing with infertility, that one has chronic pain, that one has a child with a serious illness, that one could hardly get out of bed this week. And yet, they keep showing up.
All around you, people are doing hard things. You are not alone. You can do hard things, too.
Mary: I am the Lord’s servant. May your word to me be fulfilled.
As an example of healthy consent, no one is ever going to point to this story.
If you peel back all the interpretations you’ve acquired over the years about Mary’s worthiness and God’s foreknowledge, you might notice this chink in the story: no one ever actually asks Mary.
There is no ‘will you take this rose’ or ‘shall we dance.’ She wasn’t given a choice to say yes or no.
I bet that in many of the annunciations of your life no one asked you either.
But Mary still had a choice. She had a choice in how she was going to respond. She could choose either to struggle against it or to practice deep acceptance.
“I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary said. “May your word to me be fulfilled.”
Mary decided to show up.
I can’t control what is happening. This is my life now and I can either choose to struggle against it or to practice deep acceptance. My job is to show up.
For all of the foretelling Gabriel does in this passage, he leaves out an awful lot. Specifically, the awful parts.
But Gabriel made sure to leave Mary with a touchstone for when she couldn’t see ahead to God’s glory. She didn’t have to depend on hope. She didn’t have to havehope. She just had to take each moment as it came.
The Lord is with you, said Gabriel. With, present tense.
I will show up in each moment as it comes. If it’s a hard moment, I will bring everything I can to it. If it’s a good moment, I will open myself to joy.
“The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel” (which means “God with us”).
You are God with me.
You are with me now
and now
and now
and now
Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you.
You, full of grace, the Lord is with you.
Leilani Kritzinger is married to Pastor Devo, with whom she has four beautiful children.