Being a mother is something I had desired and dreamed of since I was a little girl. When I had my first child 14 years ago, it was one of the happiest moments in my life. My son was such a blessing at a time when everything else seemed to be falling apart. Unfortunately, it wasn’t too long after his birth that the family I so desired and worked hard to build broke apart.
It wasn’t easy to be a single mother. I faced many dark days and struggled to provide my son with stability and ensure that he wasn’t tainted with the reality of a broken family. It was a time when I really leaned on the Lord, and I did witness His grace over my son and me. He provided the means and the strength to move forward and build a life.
However, I still felt emptiness. My heart ached when I saw other “whole” families, the design that God intended for our lives. For so long, my son yearned to have a sibling and prayed for his heart’s desire. We both prayed.
Nine years later, the Lord blessed us with my husband and my stepdaughter. My husband and I desired to have a child together and expand our family. It didn’t seem possible at first and several doctors said it would take a miracle to conceive, but eight months later we received the news that we were expecting. We were so happy!
I wanted to share the news with everybody, especially my son, but we decided to wait until we had our first ultrasound. It was then that we received the devastating news; our baby didn’t have a heartbeat. My heart was completely torn. That loss was the most difficult moment of my life.
I pleaded with my Heavenly Father for healing and understanding as I believed in His promises but also questioned why I had to go through this agony. Months went by and my husband wasn’t ready to give up. With his encouragement and a lot of prayer, we continued to ask the Lord for a child. It seemed that the doctors were right as time passed and we couldn’t conceive.
The Lord had other plans. One year later, to our surprise, we were expecting! We were again so happy but also had moments of apprehension due to the previous loss. It wasn’t an easy road; every ultrasound, every test was a moment of worry. The words that I dreaded, “test results were abnormal,” were given to us early in the pregnancy. My heart immediately sank. My faith was being tested again.
It was a time when prayer was the only thing getting me through, a time when nothing was in my control, and I had to solely rely on the Lord. He reassured me every step of the way that the baby would be fine, as the Holy Spirit spoke words of peace over me.
In September 2024, our beautiful, healthy baby girl was born. Seeing her every day I am reminded of the Lord’s grace. In my darkest moments, He was right beside me, carrying me through. He used the difficult moments to draw me closer to Him, to strengthen my faith, and to show me, my husband, my family, and even our doctors that nothing is impossible for our Heavenly Father.
In the midst of the challenges, His desire for me was to truly know Him, to trust Him, and to love Him, and for all my experiences, though sometimes difficult, to be a testimony of His unwavering love and His infinite grace.
“’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” Jeremiah 29:11.
Jennifer Webb is blessed to be wife to Kevin, mother to Ayden, Emma, and Kaylie, and a daughter of the King.