“When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.”
This song was performed by Anthony León & John Wang (2020). I listened repeatedly as I processed the transition of my beloved grandma. My heart was broken and heavy with deep pain and grief.
Traveling home to Jamaica to celebrate her life seemed unreal. When I returned to the USA, the pain I felt was intense. I felt deep sadness and anxiety. I was in a different space mentally and emotionally. I know I couldn’t rely on my own strength to navigate such a time.
I remember asking God, “Please give me the strength.”
I frequently listened to a song by Elevation Worship and Maverick City called “Jireh.” This particular verse of the song resonated with me as I felt God’s presence close in my brokenness:
“Going through a storm, but I won’t go down
I hear Your voice carried in the rhythm of the wind to call me out
You would cross an ocean so I wouldn’t drown
You’ve never been closer than You are right now” (Elevation Worship & Maverick City, 2021).
I found the gospel genre of music therapeutic during my grief. I also found solace in our La Sierra Church community, in the GriefShare group*. While we grieved different individuals, we shared commonality in the fact that we had all lost a loved one. The hugs, the sitting in silence and allowing space, the bonds, and the overall support of each other lifted mine and, I’m sure, others’ spirits. I had access to tools to help me cope better and language to things I could not assign meaning to.
During this process, I felt closer to God. I felt the desire to deepen my connection. One day, after leaving my office back to the dorm, something came to my mind while I was driving (it truly was like a voice). It was a Bible passage from Matthew 6:33, ”But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” I stopped the vehicle to make sure I was hearing.
It is through seeking God’s word and prayer that I found hope, strength, and comfort in the grieving process. I learned that even in a time like this, there is still meaning, and I had to search for that meaning.
*Click here for information on our next GriefShare Group, starting on April 4.
Patrina Jamieson is a student at La Sierra University, in the School of Education. She is working towards completing her study in the spring quarter of this year.