We left the kids at art class and made a dash through the first rain of the season to Simple Simon’s. Mission: croissants and an hour to catch up without inquisitive ears and a thousand interruptions. We have eight kids between the two of us, all homeschooled, so you can imagine the amount of planning that went into pulling off a get-together-sans-kids.
This is a close friendship – we’ve been through a lot together – surgeries and serious injuries, heartbreaks and fear, pulling wisdom from each other when the other is floundering. For the entirety of our friendship, though not churched, she has been a seeker with an openness that continually strips me of the familiar callousness of lifelong faith. Case in point: she has sent me Sabbath morning haiku for years.
She joined a church in February of this year, and other than brief texts, we hadn’t had a chance to discuss it until this breakfast. “Lent and Holy Week make a rough entry when your love for Jesus is so newly born and tender,” she said, so she’s really looking forward to her first Christmas as a Christian–to the angels and all the unfettered rejoicing, and to a mother’s visceral understanding of the goodness of a newborn baby. “I know we have to get through Advent first, but I’m just so excited for Christmas.”
I didn’t grow up with Advent (ironic as an Adventist, but there you go). I am still learning to trade a season’s worth of frenetic cheer for a dip into darkness and an opening to light. But her comment jolted me.
I looked at the remains of her croissant (I had, of course, finished mine) and realized, with warmth flowing through me, I love Advent now. Through the years of observance, Advent has shifted from new idea to ritual pilgrimage.
The conversation flowed on; she packed up her leftover croissant and I dusted the remaining crumbs off my sweater, and we dashed back through the rain to pick up our kids.
Looking back, I can’t remember. Did I say it out loud, or did it get lost in the flow of conversation?
What I wanted to say was, “Don’t skip Advent! Resist the urge to skip the dark and rush to the light. Advent is a gift as spectacular as Christmas.”
What I wanted to say was, “If it is darkness that makes light so welcome, it is Advent that makes Christmas so joyous.”
What I wanted to say was, “Come, down into the darkness. Come down and find healing and rest.
Welcome to yet another way that your expectations get upended by the unexpected movements of the Spirit. Welcome, my dear, dearest friend. Welcome, welcome, welcome.”
Leilani is a doula and birth photographer in the Inland Empire. She and her husband Devo have contributed four amazing humans to the world. Hobbies include yoga, classical singing, and managing her HSP-ness.