“May I learn to know when to fight through resistance and when to slow my pace in humility and wisdom.”
This short yet powerful prayer quickly captured my attention. Always known as a quiet girl, I grinned to myself and wondered how I was also still labeled “stubborn, rebellious, and headstrong.”
I must admit, these words were not given to me as compliments. Rather they were referred to as characteristics that needed to be changed or tamed. In high school, these “qualities” would get me in trouble.
I vividly remember one instance when an international student in my class was bullied for not speaking English. I can still see her terror-stricken face as she froze and stood there not knowing what to do with these harsh words thrown at her. I felt my blood rising to my head and my teenage mind jump into action. I stood in front of her and was face to face with the bully. It would have been nice if I could say my defense was controlled, but it wasn’t. I was suspended.
With the passing of the years, I experienced more of life and I matured. I humbly found myself called into ministry. In my life, I have always been drawn to helping the hurt, the broken, and the underdog. Nevertheless, I lived asking, “How could I be a pillar for humanity, if I hurt humanity with my weaknesses?”
I would reflect and pray to God regarding my calling. Was this real? Could it be real? I asked God to use my strengths and talents, and begged God to find a way to use my weaknesses for God’s glory. One special day, the words “stubborn, rebellious, and headstrong” trickled to mind. It was the first time I was able to see these words, that so often shamed me, as words that could empower me for the mission of God.
I realized that God has transformed my stubbornness into discipline, my rebelliousness into staying true, my headstrong nature into grit for the sake of God’s purpose.
Despite feeling as though my life was unraveling at times, I found myself holding onto God’s promises with these very same characteristics.
My prayer today is for you to hold onto the words of Micah 6:8 with every fiber in you.
“He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God” (NIV).
Like a boat and anchor that go hand in hand for a safe voyage, may I discern when to throw down my anchor, to provide security for those around me, becoming a stable platform for others to regain strength in God. And, on the other hand, may I know when to ride the waves, full of compassion and love towards humankind. Amen!
Rosie Phillips is a proud mother and member of the La Sierra University Church Office Staff.
These reflections stand alone, but if you want to enjoy the prayers from May It Be So that they’re based on, please click here to request a copy of the book.